notavodkashot:

dominawritesthings:

wait-whereami:

thebuttkingpost:

Greek mythology: aren’t the god great they only sexually harassed my wife and turned one of my children into a stag beetle this week

Norse mythology: dînghïr œne nüt got his name when he killed a lizard the size of every mountain in the world without Odin’s permission so Odin thought it would be funny to punish him by making him fart so hard one of his nuts flew off

Chinese mythology: This guy just shot down 9 of the 10 suns scorching the planet but he’s mean now so his wife and her rabbit overdosed on immortality pills and floated into the moon so he won’t be a tyrant forever and we made cake in her honor

Yoruba mythology: a project team of gods was sent to earth on THE most massive project ever and the men decided to exclude the lone woman on the team because har har girls suck, and she responded by taking ALL OF THE WATER ON EARTH and watched the men take L’s until the team lead made them take her back

This same goddess is the one a group of male human villagers had to appeal to when the women of their village got so pissed off at their fuckery, they literally left and set up shop somewhere else and had zero plans of coming back

Aztec mythology: Tezcatlipoca is at it again. Which Tezcatlipoca? Does it even matter at this point? Also, Quetzalcoatl had a bright idea again. It ended up in disaster. Again.