Seems legit.
Hahahahaha
“How about we do this out on the porch, instead?”
“Weeeee’rrrrrre… not really comfortable with that. Outside. Exposed. To the sun.”
“That would explain the beach-sized umbrellas.”
“Exactly. For every untrue stereotype, there’s half a home truth. So we would prefer inside, thank you.”
“I have this huge porch. Nice and shady.”
“Still outside. It’s… really quite warm out today.”
“I haven’t tidied up.”
“We don’t judge. Or mind.”
“I don’t have anything to offer you to drink.”
“Oh, we never drink.” “Soda. So much sugar, right?” “Oh, yeah. Right.”
“I just got done chopping, like, three heads of garlic. It’s Italian night!”
*sweats* “We are mildly… MILDLY… allergic, but we can avoid–”
“My extended family is super religious. Crosses everywhere. We get them for literally every holiday, and the rellies pout if they stop by and they can’t find theirs, so we HAVE to hang them up.”
*sweats more* “No, really. We can… as long as we’re not looking directly at them–”
“My plumbing just randomly spews holy water. We’re not sure why. But it’s definitely holy water.”
“How do you know?”
“We… kinda… accidentally exorcised Aunt Edna last Christmas when she went to get a glass of water and… well, let’s just say there was a lot more Bible reading this year than usual.”
“…” “…”
“So maybe we should just do this out on the porch.”
“…” “…” “Maybe we’ll come back another time.”
“Okay. Well, I’ll look forward to it! You guys have a great afternoon!”
-TWO HOURS LATER-
“OH MY GOD THEY HAVE TO BE INVITED IN I AM THE LUCKIEST IDIOT IN THE WORLD. Man, this is awesome spaghetti.”
Ignisfilimundi 